DRIVING CODES OF GOA By Saturnino Rodrigues

Road traffic accidents in Goa are on a rise, day by day. Look at the young lives gone “under tragic circumstances”. I happened to give a look at the latest statistics, casualties in Goa for the last two years indicate a tremendous rise in fatalities on Goan roads.
 This could be attributed to many causes and one major cause is the reckless driving by the driver itself. Two wheelers are the most involved with accidents and deaths due to this menace are on the rise. It is sad to acknowledge the daily rate of traffic accidents. In spite of so much awareness ever created by Traffic Department and MARG, the rate doesn't decline. Our roads are in a shambles, except for occasional cosmetic changes from time to time that neither alter nor improve the road conditions. To menace vehicular traffic, there are other obstructions too, like dumped garbage that obstructs smooth vehicular flow. There are cattle taking a “susegad” nap on the road shoulder. Hit-and-run cases are on a towering level while the police just display their inane incompetence in dealing with the situations but are busy collecting haftas. In this respect, it looks like the Goan driving rules are somewhat like I phrased as the existing code of driving in Goa, at least for a mock and smile.
Goa Highway Code
1. All Goans are born drivers and do not need training or advise on how to drive vehicles. The proof of their legendry skill is found in graveyards all over Goa.
2. All accidents are an act of God, therefore no one is to blame. Except if a tree is involved, then it is to blamed as it would have not happened if the tree was not there.
3. Most people like to drive on the left hand side of the road, but this is optional, just "go with the flow".
4. Speed limit, this is the maximum speed of the vehicle. A vehicle has two speeds, parked and maximum speed.
5. Brakes, are provided on vehicles, but not required in Goa.
6. Suspensions provided, again found on some imported vehicles, not required in Goa, the roads are good.
7. Mirrors, interior mirror for grooming and oral/nasal hygiene. Wing mirrors not required, no need to monitor the traffic behind or beside you.
8. Cross roads, road junctions. Approach at maximum speed to avoid other traffic.
9. Bridges, cross at maximum speed or the river spirit will take you.
10. Motor cycles, driven by happy, well-mannered, helpful people can be a little annoying when run over. Try to ration your self to count motorcycle accidents a week, or there will not be enough for everyone. Maximum passengers allowed are 2 to 3 or 5 small children.
11. Cows, donkeys, goats, pigs and sheep on the roads, always approach at maximum speed, they will soon disappear from the road.
12. Overloading, you cannot overload vehicle in Goa there is always room for more.
13. Women drivers, the cause of many roads hold ups, traffic jams due to careful driving techniques. They need to be overtaken immediately within the time they take to search for the accelerator pedal.
l4. Police, Road safety, highway patrol:- they are on the roads of Goa to help your pocket, to make it lighter, do not waste time to mind them.
15. Tires should always be as smooth as possible for minimum grip or else this will affect highway speeding.
16. Headlights, do not use in the dark, they can dazzle on coming traffic.
l7. Parking. always park to cause maximum inconvenience to other road users. And this will show every one that you are a big man.
l8. Overtaking, try to overtake on the brow of a hill, on a bend in the road, anywhere that you cannot see ahead. This will keep you and other road users alert and awake. Remember you must overtake any vehicle you see in front of you.
19 Servicing and maintenance of vehicles not required on any vehicle less than 5 years old.
20. Roundabouts, traffic signals, designed by the Portuguese to confuse the drivers and cause traffic holdups, ignore.
21. Windscreen, optional, only required in rainy season, but must be normally fully tinted.
22. Windscreen wipers, fitted to some imported cars. Not required in Goa.
23. Horn is the most important part of the car, use it continuously not to fall asleep in traffic jams or to greet friends and acquaintances.
24.Side indicators, if fitted, do not use as they cause confusion to other road users. The four way flashers can be used all the time, to indicate that you are awake.
25. Reversing, this is a very difficult maneuver, do not attempt as you could end up not knowing if you are coming or going.
26. Never bother about the oncoming ambulance but make way for the public transport and Kadamba buses to pass off safely, they normally have failed brakes.
And remember the golden rule of driving in Goa, "If in doubt, increase speed to maximum.