DUBAI:CHURCHILL CAME, LIMPED & LEFT WITH EGG ON HIS FACE by Bebdo

DUBAI: The time was exactly 10.10p.m in Dubai when Churchill reached Al Nasr Leisureland. Outside the entrance to the Al Nashwan Hall just four of his chamchas were waiting for him. Churchill didn’t even had an invitation with him and the security guard stopped him while he was trying to enter from the passageway outside the hall.

One of the chamchas was heard saying he is a minister from Goa, but the security guard stood his ground and insisted on seeing a ticket. Another chamcha ran inside the hall to call the organisers Anthony and Bernard to escort Churchill inside. Someone said, Peter Roshan should come out and escort him only then will the security allow him in. Churchill had to wait for around five minutes outside on the road before he was allowed to go in. All this time he was on the road leading to the passageway to the hall.

When the permission was given for Churchill to enter, the chamchas started talking among themselves. One said: ‘Oh he has been stopped at the gate’. The other replied: ‘Do you think this is Goa, This is Dubai where he won’t get the Salute baba’. Finally, poor Churchill had to limp all alone to the hall. He had no chamchas too as escorts.

At 10.30 p.m.,the tiatr started with a song praising the oneness of God, be it Ram, Jesus or Allah. I was waiting for the usual praise for Churchill and as per my expectations; the first song praising Churchill was delivered by Xavier Gomes. This Xavier with his half-baked knowledge of Da Vinci Code gave credit to Churchill for stopping the screening of the movie in Goa (by the way I have watched the movie four time and also read the book twice written by Nicolas Karantkazis).

In his song, he stated that had it not been for Churchill, the screening of the movie would have not been stopped. He then drew the attention to a cartoon published in Times of India about Jesus and his disciples. In the cartoon, one half of the disciples were shown as BJP and the other Congress. Now as a tiatrist I assume this Xavier is an artiste. And I don’t know what right he has to criticise creative art and question the freedom of expression and the exploration of knowledge which is beyond his realm as Xavier is an uneducated person.

This song was followed by a duet. It was sung by Janet and a guy whose name I don’t know. This Janet also praised Churchill to the skies and narrated in the song how she was hospitalised due to a spinal injury and Churchill told her that he would fit her hospital bill. She thanked Churchill in the song for the help rendered.

I knew that this was all planned. However, the plot of the tiatr was different. It revolved around a Goan girl married to a Raj Pillai from Andhra (I think someone should tell Peter Roshan that there is no surname called Pillai in Andhra Pradesh… Pillai is a common surname in Kerala and some parts of Tamil Nadu). Nevertheless, the tiatr was about Goan girls getting married to ghanttis and the ghanttis then ditching them, and that the ghanttis get married to Goan girls only because of the money which they would inherit from the girl. It was a melodrama with all the masala of a typical present day Goan scenario. ‘Big Mama’ played a good role and conveyed a very strong message about the pitfalls of such marriages.

Niz Goenkars were in full strength. Within a short period of time, we made arrangements to bring all our members from places even as far as Al Ain and Fujairah. We were more than 200 strong in a crowd of nearly 800 people. Our members’ wives and children too were transported to the venue. Since we managed to get the tickets late, we occupied almost all the last rows with the exception of a few seats in between. Around 50 of our guys preferred to stand behind the last row and they continuously booed and jeered every time Churchill’s name was mentioned on stage either by the singers or the organisers.

All of us were getting ready for the interval. We knew that Churchill would make his speech and we were expecting that he would blast Niz Goenkars like the same way he did to Arwin Mesquita.

I was surrounded on both the sides each by five members of Niz Goenkars and our other members were sitting behind me since as per our plan we were supposed to confront Churchill if he had dared to challenge Niz Goenkars. I had all the papers ready and our other members were ready too to protect me in case of any commotion.

I had files on his turnaround on Mopa and Dabolim Airport, paper cuttings and recordings of talking about accepting money to ask a question in parliament when he was the MP and the scandal was aired on Star TV (what a shame for Goa); document which he had signed as a PWD minister to get the approval for the Raheja project in Carmona, and other very important documents regarding the working of the PWD department and how some contractors were harassed and made to pay a certain percentage to certain people who in turn hands over the money to Churchill and his daughter.

During the break, Bernard and Anthony came on stage, and as usual thanked the sponsors and donors for the tiatr. Then they thanked Churchill for making it to the tiatr despite being sick and requested him to say a few words. Initially, they announced that he would give a speech by sitting and not by standing on the stage. Churchill, however, made it to the stage with the help of a chamcha.

He addressed the audience in a very cordial manner and said that on October 2, he and Digu the cowmuth Kamat had a very hectic day as it was Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday as they had to attend to many functions in the state. While travelling with Digu he said that he suffered a ‘catch’… ‘I got a cramp”. And then he pointed to his hip region to indicate where it was. With the prayers of all the people of Goa, and with the help of an ayurvedic doctor, he said he was cured within 6 days. He said since he had made a promise to the organisers that he would come to Dubai for the tiatr he fulfilled that promise and reached Dubai despite the objection to his trip by his family members.

He then touched on the topic of criticism of politicians in dramas and stated that in politics it is not possible to please all and sundry. “If you help 100 people, there will at least be 2 who would be against you,” he added. He then spoke about some bridges which he is trying to construct. One of them is the Talpona Bridge which will be a shinning example for the whole of India and for which Kamal Nath has given his permission. He also tried to take credit for stopping the construction of an expressway in Goa due to space constraints and which would have required the demolition of many houses. He also took credit for the new approach road and for bringing the number of lanes from six to four.

He then appealed to all Goans working abroad to do their jobs properly, save enough money and ultimately return to Goa. Finally, he appealed to them to unite and assured his support and his family’s support for Goans and their causes.

That’s it. That was the end of the speech. One or two persons in the front row applauded, the sound of which was drowned by cat-calls and boos from the rear and the middle of the auditorium.

After the interval break, two more songs followed praising Churchill and his family. Three children dressed as a pilot, advocate and the last in gaudy shinning outfit portrayed themselves as Valanka the Daughter, Savio Alemao and Raisa Alemao (Joaquim Alemao’s daughter). They extolled their academic qualifications and bragged about their achievements. It looked like a matrimonial advertisement for the trio.

Finally, at 2.20 am. Churchill left the auditorium. This time, Bernard, Anthony and three more chamchas ran after him, chasing his shadow. They followed him right near the Landcruiser with registration number 88903. He only had a quick word with Bernard and Anthony and left. Dejection and disappointment was written all over his body as he left.

His face, his walk and his limp said it all. He realised the fact that he cannot fool the people all the time and Niz Goenkar is a powerful force which is gaining momentum.

With his low self esteem and battered confidence, he was looking pathetic, worse than a crumbled paper tiger.

Guys, I can’t help writing this. I found that this is the most amusing part of the entire tiatr. Churchill and me reached the venue at the same time and also left the venue at the same time. We matched each other step-for-step. But guys, I was sober. Had I downed a few pegs either at Pandu’s or Antonette Pixem’s father’s tavern, then I would have definitely staggered and fallen on him. Anyway, Bebdes are known to cover their tracks.